actually, I'm a sock model
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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