today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize