About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
