it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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