Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
What drink are we having for lunch?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
