I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
