The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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