Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
