google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
