I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize