I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
