If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
