Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Porn is love you can see.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
