genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
