If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
