...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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