So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Michael Bay diarrhea
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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