What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
