i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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