You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
