Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
