great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
