call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
