No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
