i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize