My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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