Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
