it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
