I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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