btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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