Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
