Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
