Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
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Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
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I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking