i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left