i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.