This is not my ceiling
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.