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he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
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