Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
