I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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