Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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