I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
