Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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