The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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