I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This house was built for laser tag.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
