Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
