dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
