So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
