He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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