sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize