so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
