Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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