my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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