Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
