I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I need water and some morals
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
