"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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