Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
