Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
