I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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