I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
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how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
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in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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