Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
