which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
