she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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