I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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