Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
